In the title when I say is porn healthy for the bedroom, I mean does porn effect normal sexual relationships. Does porn effect sex with ones husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. What role does porn play in these types of relationships and is it healthy? Some might argue that the effects of porn within relationships is positive, maybe some couples enjoy watching porn together and they feel like it spices things up a bit. To those people I would say to each his own. If it works in your relationship and both parties equally enjoy it, then I see nothing wrong with it. What happens though when one individual within a relationship watches porn a lot, is this healthy? According to the article "He's Just Not That Into Anyone", from New York Magazine, its not healthy. A quote from the article, “I used to race home to have sex with my wife. Now I leave work early so I can get home before she does and masturbate.”
This quote is from a man who used to want to get home from work early to sleep with his wife, but because of his love for porn, the excitement about coming home to his wife is not as great as his excitement to get off to porn. Another guy from the article said this,
"It’s like all that time with these porn stars was subduing any physical desire for my girlfriend. And, in some weird way, my
emotional need for her, too.”
Its sad to think that guys who watch porn often can become bored with their actual sexual relationships and more turned on by some fantasy world. What I don't understand is why is pleasuring oneself accompanied with pornographic images is better than the real thing? Another quote from the article,
"In order to come, though, I’ve got to resort to playing scenes in my head that I’ve seen while viewing porn. Something is lost there. I’m no longer with my wife; I’m inside my own head.”
For this guy, he literally has to watch porn in his head while having sex with his wife to orgasm or more plainly to even enjoy it.
In class we watched the documentary, The Price of Pleasure, it depicts the world of pornography The pornographic industry according to the film has more than 900 billion viewers each year, and makes more money then the NFL, NBA and major league baseball combined. With a industry such as this becoming so larger, think of the negative effects it could have on sexual relationships. If people are becoming so involved in viewing these videos and pictures, to the point were normal sex with their partner becomes boring and no longer enough. Isn't there a problem? If a world of fantasy sex, were one masturbates to different scenes, woman, etc becomes more exciting then the real thing; what real damage could this cause to real relationships, to marriages? A quote from the man who wrote the article,
"Had I just given up, things might have played out the way they often did, with shades of confused disappointment and inadequacy on the part of the woman and mumbled apologies and awkward shame from me. But that night, ingenuity struck—unable to actually get off, I found myself flying a fresh route: I faked it."
For this man porn did have negative effects on his relationship, he no longer could orgasm while having sex with his girlfriend, she was no longer enough. So he felt like he needed to fake it, bringing in another negative fact, dishonesty. It also brought feelings of shame and inadequacy. Maybe these feelings were not spun from actually watching porn but the way porn, or rather frequent masturbation to erotic images, effected his performance did bring feelings of shame. Is this really healthy? Porn can cause men to have to fake orgasms, it encourages woman that they need to fake orgasms to save her partners feelings if he not pleasing her, and it really just takes away excitement from the act of having sex itself. I am in no way saying it is this way for everyone, but if porn is causing this many problems, is it really okay that we keep letting this industry grow and grow? Is it really worth it to watch porn if the outcome is no longer enjoying real sex?
Porn is a subject that makes me so angry and emotional. I consider myself quite liberal, but when it comes to porn in my relationship, it is a complete violation. I have seen many relationships incorporate porn into their sexual lifestyle in a positive way, but I've first hand had to deal with my own relationship crumbling because of it. I've seen many studies and heard stories of men and women who are in committed relationships and satisfied with their sex life, but they still secretly hide their porn habit from their spouses. Some flip on the porn and say it is their "own" time, others may say they are still sexually interested in others, and so on. But, when is it too much? I think this can become an addiction. The media is covered with porn, suggesting to be a "normal" part in every man's life. But, how is it affecting relationships? I can tell you it almost ruined my own. But, everyone is different.
ReplyDelete